(According to the CEO.)
UNEMPLOYMENT
CAT
We are not hiring.
We are not applying.
Head Office is currently in session. (He’s asleep.)
Classified until launch. HR has advised against leaking internal documents.
HEAD OFFICE
Head Office oversees market operations, executive decisions and long-term corporate strategy from a highly confidential bedroom facility.
The organisation currently employs one executive. Operational efficiency remains excellent.
Meet the Chief Executive
UNEMPLOYMENT CAT founded Head Office after deciding traditional employment wasn't aligned with his long-term corporate vision.
Since then, he has proudly served as CEO, CFO, HR, Reception, Security and Employee of the Month.
He firmly believes every unemployed CEO deserves a shot at making it. His vision is to build the world's largest company of unemployed executives and help every employee and shareholder chase financial freedom—one executive meeting at a time.
His daily responsibilities include market operations, strategic planning, executive meetings, market domination and making coffee disappear.
- Name
- UNEMPLOYMENT CAT
- Position
- Founder & Chief Executive Officer
- Department
- Market Operations
- Employees
- 0
- Office Hours
- Confidential
Meet the Team
Head Office operates with a carefully selected executive workforce.
Head Office Janitorial Division
Cleanliness standards remain exceptionally high. The janitorial department ensures Head Office stays spotless while executive market research continues uninterrupted.
- 01CEOUNEMPLOYMENT CAT
- 02CFOUNEMPLOYMENT CAT
- 03HEAD OF HRUNEMPLOYMENT CAT
- 04HEAD OF MARKET OPERATIONSUNEMPLOYMENT CAT
- 05RECEPTIONISTUNEMPLOYMENT CAT
- 06SECURITYUNEMPLOYMENT CAT
- 07JANITORUNEMPLOYMENT CAT
- 08(Every month.)EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTHUNEMPLOYMENT CAT
Market Operations
Head Office monitors global markets, shareholder activity and coffee levels from one central command desk.
- Token
- $NOJOB
- Network
- Solana
- Launch
- 5 August
- Total Supply
- 1,000,000,000
- Tax
- 0%
- Liquidity
- TBC at launch
Shareholder onboarding has not yet commenced.
Employee & Token Agreement
Company ownership structure — reviewed and approved by senior management.
- Clause 01 · Public Shareholders70%
Available to the public and wider Head Office community.
- Clause 02 · Founder & CEO20%
Allocated to UNEMPLOYMENT CAT, Founder & Chief Executive Officer.
- Clause 03 · Future Business & Employee Appreciation10%
Reserved for future operations, competitions, giveaways and business expansion.
Signed on behalf of Head Office. Material changes will be announced publicly.
Employee Appreciation Programme
Head Office believes exceptional shareholder performance should occasionally be recognised.
When financially practical, the company intends to run community giveaways and artwork competitions throughout the month.
- →Two community giveaway opportunities per month
- →Two UNEMPLOYMENT CAT artwork competitions per month
- →Proposed prize value: 10,000 $NOJOB per selected winner
- →Artwork entries should feature the CEO, because he enjoys pictures of himself
Employment Contract
Congratulations.
Your application to become a shareholder has been conditionally approved.
Contract Address
The employment contract remains classified until deployment.
- Network
- Solana
- Token
- $NOJOB
- Total Supply
- 1,000,000,000
- Tax
- 0%
- Launch
- 5 August
- Liquidity
- To be confirmed at launch
Shareholder Register
Shareholder onboarding begins 5 August.
Work Avoidance Department
Responsible for optimising executive output while minimising unnecessary employment.
- 01Review overnight markets
- 02Coffee
- 03Strategic Planning
- 04Executive Meetings
- 05Lunch
- 06Stare at charts endlessly
- 07Market Domination
- 08Make life changing money?
- 09Postpone tomorrow’s workload
- Coffee before all major decisions
- Charts must remain visible at all times
- Naps qualify as executive meetings
- Emails may be answered later
- Traditional employment is outside current strategy
Proof of Unemployment
Corporate archive · internal documentation on file.
Human Resources
Frequently raised concerns.
Internal Communications
Head Office archive — filed by department.
Official company media may be used for meme-related operations.
END OF INTERNAL DOCUMENT
please continue working.
For further enquiries, please contact Human Resources.
Human Resources is currently unavailable.
For executive matters, please contact the CEO.
The CEO is currently unavailable.
He’s looking at charts pretending it’s work.